Jaguar XJ

The Jaguar XJ has been an iconic executive brand for over 43 years, starting with the grunty Series One that boasted the trademark V8 symphony. Jag’s latest offering is vastly different from the analogue battleship of old. Blue Chip recently tested the pimped-up luxury 5.0-litre V8 that absolutely goes like the clappers (0 to 100km/h in 5.7 seconds), with an attractive space-aged interior resembling the Starship Enterprise.

For R1 million a piece, one would expect something a little different. With only 35 sold yearly, this is indeed high-end motoring for the filthy rich. Your chief executives, government ministers and English Premier League footballers would be the only people in the queue for this piece of heaven...

Be sure to bring along your computer specialist when first operating this car, as this little number has more gizmos than a science fair. Everything is electronic, even the dashboard speedometer.

The older set of Jag drivers may prefer a more analogue look, but we are almost in 2012 – as Bob Dylan so aptly put it, “The times, they are a-changin’.” And that statement can be no truer of Jaguar which, since teaming up with the likes of Range Rover, has seen quite a few changes in design. Personally, I love the muscular look of the new XJ, with a back end straight out of J-Lo’s Greatest Hits.

It is quite the head-turner; you do not have to park the car for long before a crowd gathers around this babe magnet. During the photo shoot, bystanders were taking their own pictures, dreaming of the day they would take ownership of this iconic brand.

The sheer note of the growling V8 lets all and sundry know who is boss.

In terms of acceleration, the 5-litre V8 is cosmic – taking you from 40 to 120km/h as quick as a flash. On an open runway, she could easily do the 250km/h top speed as indicated.

Heaven only knows who would buy the supercharged version of the V8 – the normally aspirated model is mind-blowing enough! Not to mention the increased fuel usage that supercharging brings, though the sort of people who drive an XJ would not have to worry about that.

For those who are looking for something a little lighter on gas, Jag has you covered with its 3.0-litre V6 diesel option that packs a fair old punch of its own, with a top speed of 250km/h.

Do not get put off by the diesel badge: things have changed since the tractor-like engines of the 1980s! The automatic gearbox is silky smooth under normal driving conditions, but can get somewhat boisterous when you put the hammer down. It also has the newfangled flappy-paddle gearbox option for the Michael Schumacher in you.

As one would expect, park assist is standard, but I really do not see the need for it. If you cannot park a car properly without it, you should not be on the road.

The tyres and mags look menacing (but in a good way); with Aleutian alloy wheels of near-racing proportions of 19- and 20 inch, which really mean business.

A feature that takes some getting used to is the gear leaver – a retractable round knob, much like the volume dial on a home theatre system. This is the new trademark “Jaguar handshake”: it rises from the centre console into your palm upon ignition. It certainly saves space, though the jury is still out on functionality.

The new XJ should have a better residual value than the Audi A8, Mercedes-Benz S-Class or BMW 7 Series – maintaining a reported 40% of its price. The principal dealer at PAG Cape Town Jaguar commented that he has seen many BMW and Merc trade-ins, as the new Jaguar brand continues to cut into the business of its counterparts.

Gregory Simpson

Photographs: Ian Goodes (iangoodes.com)